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栀子花开MysteryoftheWhiteGardenia
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佚名Anonymous
Everyyearonmybirthday,fromthetimeIturned12,awhitegardeomyhouseihesda,Md.Noewithit.Callstothefloristwerealwaysinvain—iturchase.AfterawhileIsttodiscovertheseyaediyandheadyperfumeofthatonemagical,perfectwhiteflowerpinktissuepaper.
ButIoppedimaginingwhotheanonymhtbe.Someofmyhappiestmomedaydreamingaboutsomeonewonderfulaingbuttooshyoretriakeknownhisorheridentity.
Mymothertributedtotheseimaginings.She’daskmeiftherewassomeoneforwhomIhaddoneaspeesswhomightbeshore.PerhapstheneighborI’dhelpwhenshewasunloadingacarfullofgroaybeitwastheoldmanacrossthestreetwhosemailIretrievedduriersohewoulduredownhisicysteps.Asateehough,IhadmorefuingthatitmightbeaboyIhadaoronewhohadhoughIdidn’tknowhi
WhenIwas17,aboybrokemyheart.Thenighthecalledforthelasttime,Icriedmyselftosleep.Whehem,therewasamessagesirroriick:“Heartilyknow,whenhalf-godsgo,thegodsarrive.”
IthoughtaboutthatquotationfromEmerstime,anduhealed,Ileftitwheremymotherhadwrittenit.WhenIfitheglasser,mymotherkhingwasallrightagain.
Idon’tremembereverslammingmyderatherandshouting,“Youjustdoand!”
becauseshediduand.
&hbefh-schoolgraduation,myfatherdiedofaheartattack.Myfeelingsrangedfromgrieftoaba,fearandamydadwasmissihemostimportasinmylife.Ibepletelyuedinmyupinggraduation,thesenior-classplayamymother,irief,wouldnothearofmyskippinganyofthosethings.
Thedaybeforemyfatherdied,mymotherandIhadgoneshoppingforapromdress.We’dfouae,withyardsandyardsofdottedSwissieamademefeellikeScarlettO’Hara,butitwasthewrongsize.Whenmyfatherdied,Ifotaboutthedress.
Mymotherdidn’t.Thedaybeforetheprom,Ifoundthatdress—isize—drapedmajesticallyovertheliving-roomsofa.Itwasn’tjustdelivered,stillireseifully,artisticallylovingly.Ididn’tcareifIhada.Butmymotherdid.
&edhertofeellovedaiveandimaginative,imbuedwithaseherewasmagitheworldayeveninthefaceofadversity.Intruth,mymotherwantedhertoseethemselvesmuchlikethegarderohanauraofmagidperhapsabitofmystery.
MymotherdiedtendaysafterImarried.Iwas22yearsold.Thatwastheyearthegardeniasstoppeding.
从我12岁那年起,每年都有人在我生日那天把一枝洁白的栀子花送到家里(马里兰州贝塞斯达镇上),没有卡片,也没有字条。
我多次打电话到花店询问,但总问不出个所以然来——这些花都是用现金支付的。
后来,我就不再追查送花人,只是尽情享受那枝神秘的、用粉红绢纸包扎的雪白花朵的瑰丽和浓郁芳香。
我还是不停地猜测这位匿名送花者。
有时,我最喜欢做的事就是揣测这个人,或许他是一个无比优秀的人,但过于腼腆或者性格古怪,而不愿透露身份。
母亲也和我一起猜测,很多猜想还源于她的点拨。
她会问我,是不是给谁做了件好事,所以人家用这种方式来答谢。
或许是邻居吧,我曾帮她卸下满满一车杂货。
也有可能是马路对面的那位老先生,寒冬时,我帮他取过邮件,这样他就不必冒着滑倒的危险去取了。
然而,正值花季的我,宁愿相信这个人是我喜欢的男孩,或是暗恋我而我浑然不知的某个男生。
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